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Opinion + Editorial + POV

my ideas, my views, my intention of harming anyone. just plain straight-forward opinions and views

He Loves Me NOT 11:42 PM

the following has been posted at one of my blogs which i closed. this is my love story :(

I guess I am not the only who have been and is still in this kind of situation. I'm in love! It's nice to be in love. It's such a wonderful feeling to see the man you love. Your heart beats fast as he came near. Your knees tremble when he's in front of you. You feel speechless sometimes and you fumble with words during your conversations. Yes, that is exactly how I feel right now.

We've known each other since first year high school and we became close since then. So close that we even have a "term of endearment". Not the sweet sweet terms though. He calls me his little sis and I call him my big bro. Cute, right?

We were in the same high school and in the same section. We were in the same university and same college. And now we work on the same company. Isn't it fate or what! But no. A big NO.

He has girlfriend and they've been together for about 4 years or so. And me, his little sis since fist year high school and that's about 12 years. But that's it. We are just friends. I wasn't in love with him since high school. I probably felt this way when I was in my last year in college. I think it was the time when he broke up with his first girlfriend.

It do hurts. But I have to live with that. I haven't gotten over it, by the way. Us, together, would only live in my dreams and fantasies. Nobody knows what I feel for him. No, not one.

I am not a hypocrite and I won't deny that I did pray that someday he sees pass through me as more that just friends. Honestly, I did wish that they separate. Am, I that bad? Maybe, but that's reality.

Until now, I still feel that way. How do I handle this? Pretend and pretend especially when he's around. It's hard, but I will never tell him how I feel nor will I say this to my trusted friends and relatives. It will always remain in me.

To my dear big bro, I just hope, pray, and wish that you'd see me more than your little sis.


Songs reflecting me now are: