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Feeling Unimportant 11:22 AM

Have you been feeling or was in a situation when you thought that people cared so much and about you but then you felt that you have been left out or unimportant?

Call me paranoid, but that's how I am feeling right now --- or since elementary days. Why?

Let's start with my cousin. She is my first cousin. We are really close and even up to now. Sometimes, I feel that I have been left out. I have been working my butt out to help the finances of this family. And what does my cousin do? Nothing. Literally. She resigned from her previous work. Even when she had work, she did not help at anything. She did not help her mom and dad with their finances as well (loans). Her money went to her rent and food because she is living in another city because her bf was studying there.

I was thinking that when she finally resigned that she would look for another job. Well actually she did but did not pass the exams. And she did not look for another. All she is doing it tailing with her bf. All she thinks about is her bf 24/7. And now, she is the one looking out of the internet cafe of her bf. I wonder how much her bf's giving her. But all I know that it's not even half of how much I earn! Or one fourth!

The last time she had money, she just treated my other cousins. She did not even dare to give or at least show an effort that she wanted to share it with her immediate family. She is just way stupid and self-centered.

And what makes me boil? She has a room in the house (where her bf sleeps as well) and me, I sleep in the couch! In my estimate, her bf is giving like two thousand pesos a month. That is not enough! They got their own room, my grandmother cooks the food (packed lunch) for her bf and even washes their clothes! Now think. Is my cousin thinking well. My grandmother is doing what she's supposed to do. She is an imbecile, moron, idiot, and stupid ugly little bitch!

Wtf! All I can do is right this. Of course I can't say that to my family. World war 3 will happen. I hope she just wakes up someday. And hit bigtime. And I wish she will have the courage to say sorry.

I do not want to go further. I just do not like her right now.